Monday, March 12th, 2018
He's there again. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, a bit blurry and out of focus, but there. If I turn my head to get a better look he disappears. Sometimes he'll just reappear to the other side of me a few seconds later, other times he won't show himself for a few hours, or a few days. He's not always there either, but I can say for sure whenever he shows up, everything just seems worse. There's a feeling of dread that just hangs over me and colors my whole day.
He wasn't there all last week, and I can say with all confidence it was the best week of my life. No feeling like I was being watched. No strange, blurry people lurking at the corners of my vision. No creeping sense of unease haunting me all day long. Everyone I saw was real, and it was fantastic.
Sadly, like most good things it wasn't meant to last. I was just starting to fall asleep when I heard a low hum. If it wasn't dead silent, I probably wouldn't have ever noticed it. Figured that it was just something outside, and if I just lay there long enough with my eyes closed I'd eventually get to sleep.
I was wrong.
The hum slowly built in volume into this this godawful ringing. Like the ringing you get after a concert, but easily ten times louder. I sat bolt upright, hands clamped over my ears and screaming. The only reason I knew I was screaming is because I felt myself doing it. Couldn't hear it, not over that godawful noise. I didn't know what the hell was happening to me, and a dozen different fears raced through my mind, most of them having to do with aneurysms, brain tumors, and the like. I'm not kidding when I say I was afraid I was going to die.
The noise reached a crescendo, and I was sure something was going to burst, whether it be my eardrums or a blood vessel in my brain. Then, just like that, it stopped. No more noise, just a completely silent room. My face was wet with tears and snot, so clearly I'd been crying, and I could have started up again from the sheer joy of being free of that godawful noise. Didn't want to go back to sleep like that, so I fumbled for the light, wanting to go clean myself up. That, and go get a couple of Advil since my head hurt.
While I was doing that, I felt a prickling on the back of my neck, like someone was staring at me. It didn't take me all that long to realize that he'd returned, and sure enough, a sideward glance revealed that there he was, sitting on the end of my bed. Even though his expressions are never really clear, I got the distinct impression that he was annoyed. Seems the asshole doesn't like being ignored, even for things like sleep. This was the first time he'd actually hurt me though. What changed, I don't know, but right then I didn't care if His Highness was displeased. He was angry? Good for him. So was I.
It's weird to yell at someone without actually looking at them, but I did. I didn't want him to just disappear on me.
"The hell is wrong with you?"
I didn't really expect an answer. He never speaks. All he did was smile.
Wednesday, March 14th, 2018
Feel like absolute shit today. I didn't sleep at all last night because I was afraid of a repeat performance of Monday. He didn't show up, but I was afraid that he would. After all, I have no idea where or when he'll pop up. One second he's not there and the next he is. Every time I closed my eyes I just kept thinking he was going to be there any second. That horrible noise was going to start up again and I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I wanted to. He wouldn't let me.
After three hours of worrying and waiting, my heart jumping at every little creak, I just gave up. Got out of bed and watched TV until sunrise. Of course He-Who-Probably-Doesn't-Have-A-Name never appeared. He didn't need to; I'd done the work myself. I'd successfully robbed myself of a night's sleep and he didn't even need to stick a toe out of whatever creepy Hell dimension he comes from.
I'm sure he's having himself a good laugh over it. Wish I could slip into wherever he is and play loud screeching noises while he's trying to relax.
Yeah, I know I said he vanishes if I look directly at him, but I don't know if that'll be for eight hours or eight seconds. Can't very well get any sleep if I have to keep staring at him like he's a misbehaving child. Maybe I have to wear earplugs to bed. If that asshole's making the noise that should block it out, right? Right.
At least I hope it will.
Coffee's kept me upright the past couple days. Good ol' bean water, don't know what I'd do without you. I still have to work, and I can't do that if I'm dead to the world. So yeah, I've just been drinking a lot of coffee and powering through the day that way, maybe taking a short nap when I get home. It's not enough and it's not really healthy, but right now it's all I can do. Maybe on the weekends I'll try to sleep during the day. For whatever reason he doesn't come around as often in the daytime.
Monday really rattled me. I always thought he was a harmless but creepy nuisance, but that little stunt he pulled changed all that. Can't assume he won't do something like that again.
God I hate this. Just make him go away.
Saturday, March 17th, 2018
I haven't really detailed what he looks like. Or rather, what he looks like as far as I can tell. Understand that I'm only using 'he' as a matter of convenience. The thing that's haunting me might not actually be anything as far as I know, but he looks like a guy, so 'he' it is. He's a bit on the short side and skinny, with dark hair. There's something...wrong with his face. I'm not sure what it is, but something about it is off. Like he just can't get looking human quite right. He's wearing what looks like a black button-down shirt and black jeans, and more often than not shows up with his hands tucked in his pockets.
Disappointing, huh? Aside from the unsettling face he's pretty normal looking. In fact, if he were human you might not give him anything more than a passing glance. You'd think a phantom, demon, or whatever kind of hallucination he is would have a more interesting appearance. Horns, wings, glowing eyes maybe? He's not trying hard enough. Should probably keep my mouth shut; for all I know me even writing this'll result in him showing up looking like the Devil himself next time, or like some formless being of incomprehensible horror, all eyes and mouths and chaos.
I should really stop here before I give him ideas. I don't know if he can actually change his appearance, but better safe than sorry.
As to when this started, the best answer I can give is 'recently'. I'm not sure exactly when, since when he first showed up it was at the very edge of my field of vision. Far enough that I didn't even notice anything until I caught the tiniest bit of movement, a dark patch that was out of place against the white walls of my apartment. Since there wasn't anything there when I turned to look at it, I figured it was just a trick of the light and forgot about it.
He's crept in a little further since then, which is what led me to actually notice him. The first time I thought he was someone who'd broken in. I'd just showered, changed into some comfy clothes and was ready to relax and watch some TV when I caught sight of him. Just out of the corner of my eye, but there he was, lurking in the corner of my living room. Middle of the day or not, a stranger coming into your home uninvited is pretty damn scary.
What did I do? I screamed bloody murder and bolted for my room. My phone was back there, and all I could think of was getting to it and locking the door before he could kill me. Get the phone, call the police, don't die was my plan, and given that I made it to the room and locked the door without a problem I was feeling pretty good about it. I'd just fumbled my way through unlocking the phone when I realized things were oddly quiet. You'd think the guy who'd just broken into your house would be making a bit more noise, right? There was nothing, not even a single footstep. Maybe he'd fled, figuring it wasn't worth it after I'd spotted him.
And then, as I would later learn is incredibly on-brand for him, he appeared just when I thought I was safe. Right next to me with a cheeky little wave. I reflexively took a swing at him, only for my arm to pass through nothing but air. He's there, but he's not there.
It wasn't until after the fact that I realized that my living room window was unbroken and my front door was still locked. No one had entered my apartment. Or at least, no one who needed to use such mundane things as doors and windows had.
I call him a ghost, but I don't know what he is, really. All I know is that he's got no real presence and I can't look straight at him for whatever reason. Whether or not he can speak is anyone's guess, but he can understand. I was feeling a little cheekier than usual one time, and glanced over at him when I got up to go to the kitchen.
"You want anything while I'm up?"
He tilted his head, kind of like he was wondering why I'd even ask, then waved his hand in a "Nah, I'm good" kind of gesture. So yeah, he can understand me. That's good, because it means that I'm not wasting my breath when I call him a creepy son of a bitch.
Saturday, March 28th, 2018
"I don't know if you're a ghost, a demon, a hallucination or just the worst imaginary friend ever."
He mulled that over for a few seconds then shrugged, grinning at me. Maybe it's because he's all blurry and I have to look at him in such an awkward manner, but that grin just seemed wrong. Like it was just a bit too wide, but again, this is par for the course with him. Everything about him seems off, from the way that he moves, to the to the way he looks, to the way he hovers around the edges of my vision. I doubt he doesn't know what he is. He just doesn't want to tell me, because if I know I might be able to protect myself or better yet, get rid of him.
Getting rid of him's a wonderful thought. Never having to see him lurking at the edges of my vision again, or dreading when and if he'll show up. No more anxiety at night wondering if he'll let me sleep or not. I'd have my life back again. I'd actually feel good again.
All I can hope is that one day it happens. Until then, all I can do is put up with him and the bullshit he throws at me.
I just hope he doesn't drive me off the deep end first.